THE ANATOMY OF FEAR

To understand this, let’s go to our first memory of fear. For me, it was looking at a strange man with long braided hair and unkempt clothes. I was nearly 10-year-old when I observed this man board the train that I was sitting in with my family. The first thought that struck my mind was that he looks scary. That man caught my stare and looked back with compassion, but I was sure in my mind that he is dangerous. I held on a little tighter to my mother’s hand and moved a little closer to her. That journey lasted for few hours, but I did not ease my guards even for a minute. The station arrived, and I saw the man step down. With a sigh of relief, I looked out to see who waited for him. A little girl of my age ran and embraced him with love, followed by a few children and some grownups. That man looked back and waved with a generous smile. Did I feel embarrassed? Oh! Yes, I did.

But apart from that, it gave me a profound lesson at a tender age that, ‘All that we see is not real.’ I have always been a deep thinker, and such derivations about life were my innate ability. It may have passed from past births or could have been the influence of spiritually-minded parents. That thought that came as a powerful conclusion of this leela or drama has organically grown and expanded within and within no time became the foundation of an empowered mindset.

All our fears are based on either some impending harm or an unacceptable fact. A mother fears that some harm may come to her children, so she protects and nurtures them, and in extreme cases, micromanages their lives. A nervous flyer fears that the plane may crash, so he makes alternate arrangements to travel and, in extreme cases when there is no option, completely abandons the idea of travel. Students fear that they may fail, so they spend more time in revision and look for avenues to cheat in extreme cases. Sometimes we also fear the death of a loved one who is facing an incurable disease. After exhausting all possibilities, we succumb to anger, and in extreme cases, it can make us dispassionate about life.

The point is that fear takes us deeper and deeper into a dark space within our mind where we decline in our ability to apply existing and new knowledge in a positive way.

Fear does not impede our knowledge or expertise; it just expands it in the wrong direction. The fearful flyer is using all his knowledge to find more possibilities for travel. In some cases, this may also result in new innovation. For me, it resulted in becoming the foundation of a more empowered state. But to be able to use fear in the positive way that it must, you have to work with the diligence of a doctor and finesse of a potter. Like a doctor, you have to know how to use the sharp tools for the greater good, and as a potter, you must know just how much pressure is needed to mould the clay into something beautiful.

The same fear that pushes to the extreme limits can become the trigger for new beginnings. The fear of death may become the trigger for spiritual self-knowledge; fear of flying may result in building ways to alleviate anxiety. The same thought that was drowning you in depths can help you elevate to new heights, and this is the empowered mindset that we must aim to achieve.

Vedanta says that the mind is nothing but a storehouse of thoughts. Thoughts are nothing but imprints of experiences. The experiences are choices that we make. In the same situation, one may experience dismay and other joy. This choice of what we can extract from every single experience is based on our knowledge, and the right knowledge is an empowered mindset.

So, what is the anatomy of fear? Fear is nothing but a wrong choice that we make based on incomplete knowledge and irrational judgements. Fear is nothing but our inability to use our existing knowledge to make the right choice. Fear is nothing but our stubbornness of clinging on to the bitterness of life's uneasy experiences, thus leaving the possibility of new learning. Fear is nothing but the disempowered self in us that closes all portals of light and optimism. Fear is a choice we and only we make every day.

Can we beat fear then? Yes, of course!

The tool is the empowered mindset, the tool is right knowledge.

Ekta Bajaj